Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Drunk is a universal language darling
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
