i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My vagina just clenched in fear
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
