I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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