in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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