Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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