She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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