I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm having to shit out rocks
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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