Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
