so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
