I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
