I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
