called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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