Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
