Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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