I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
