if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
