is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
