I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
