The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
