Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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