My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
