goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
