weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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