Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
