We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
