So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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