This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
