Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
