They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
