Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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