Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
