He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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