i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
