so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
