You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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