I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
