so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
