my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
