so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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