I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
