Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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