Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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