thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
