Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
