I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
