Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think i have two assholes
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
