I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
