dude i'm inner monologue high
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
whose parrot is this?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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