You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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