we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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