i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am naked and annoyed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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